The Blog For Neltark and Willie

Since it's been a while since I've posted anything, let me mention that I have taken over control of the webcomic, Bored and Evil. I started back on December fourth with a two week story arc. This week is a play on "A Christmas Carol" with the ghost of Cyber-Corey trying to show Jake what he's missing out on by not celebrating Christmas. Then next week sees the death of a main character then the relaunch on New Year's Day. So check it out and enjoy ;o)

I see that Disney Pictures as filmed an adaptation to one of my favorite books as a kid, "Bridge to Terabithia". Hopefully the movie will show kids everywhere the dangers of rope swings...

...and look he she ran into:

Well here's a pic of my Jack Sparrow costume. Can't wait to wear this to work tomorrow. Though one of the managers said I shouldn't be included in the contest as I "already have this stuff." I told her that I (and my friend Heather) made my costume specifically to wear for the contest at work. I didn't use anything that no one else would have had access to. Anyway I think it came out pretty good, except for some odd reason the camera distorted the pic to make me look like, in Steve's words, "an evil Hobbit."

1. Have you ever given a lap dance? no

2. Do you hate more than 3 people? No

3. how many houses have you lived in? 8

4. what is your favorite candy bar? Hershey bar

5. your favorite shoes? Sketchers Alley Cats

6. Have you ever tripped someone? Yes, but I couldn't tell you the last time I did it on purpose...

7. What was your least favorite subject this year? I'm not in school

8. What was your favorite subject this year? See above

9. Do you own a Britney Spears CD? HECKS NO!

11. Name something that's always on your mind. magic

12. What is your favorite type of music? New Age

13. What is your sign? Cancer

14. What time were you born? 3:33 pm

15. Do you like beer? Do you like horse pee?

16. Have you ever made a prank call? yes

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Well my roommate would say most of mine...

18. Are you sarcastic? No

19. What is your favorite color? purple

20. How many watches do you own? none, and I used to be a real stickler about watches.

21. Summer or winter? Summer, you can go out and do more

22. Spring or fall? fall, no pollen

23. What is your favorite color to wear? Black

24. Pepsi or Sprite? Pepsi

25. What color is your cell phone? ... it's a very light shade of pink. Long story

26. Where is your second home? Work

27. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes

28. Have you ever had a cavity? I've had two

29. How many lamps are in your bedroom? none, just the normal bathroom light

30. How many video games do you own? Don't know. Not as many as some would think though

31. 1st pet you ever owned ? A goldfish I won as a prize at a school fair

32. Have you ever had braces? yes

33. Do looks matter? Yes, but you have to have brains, personality and a heart as well

34. Do you use Chapstick? NO, but with all the makeup I wear I should (just to clarify for those that don't know I am a professional clown, I do not wear makeup normally...)

36. American Eagle or Abercrombie? Neither, I like the discount I get at JC Penney

37. Are you too forgiving? probably

38. How many children do you want? Three... one of each

39. Do you own something from Hot Topic? I've gotten more stuff for my clown suit from that place...

40. What is your favorite breakfast? doughnuts

41. Do you own a gun? maybe, maybe not. Break into my house and find out >:oD

42. Have you ever thought you were in love? yeah

43. When was the last time you cried? don't remember

44. What did you do 2 nights ago? Watched Criss Angel's Mindfreak

46. Have you ever called your teacher mom? never... I don't think he would have liked that. Then again...

47. Have you ever been in a castle? Yes up in New England. We went there on a field trip. There was this old castle that was transported over to the States and rebuilt. It was pretty cool.

48. What are your nicknames? Rich

49. Do you know anyone named Bertha? no

50. Have you ever been to Kentucky? Yes and it was quite lovely.

51. Do you own something from Banana Republic? nope

52. Are you thinking about somebody right now? Well there is this new chick at work....

53. Have you ever called someone Boo? Well, there's Peekaboo, but we call him Peek for short. I think I'd beat myself with a warm tuna before I ever call him "Boo".

54. Do you smoke? nope

55. Do you own a diamond ring? nope

56. Are you happy with your life right now? Is anyone?

57. Do you dye your hair? occasionally

58. Does anyone like you? of course

59. Who's your best friend? Steve

60. What were you doing May of 1994? filling out my application to Clown College

61. Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? NEVER!

62. McDonald's or Wendy's? Wendy's

63. Do you like yourself? pretty much. I wish I wasn't such a picky eater, but I can't change my tastebuds.

64. Are you closer to your mother or your father? my mom.

65. Favorite feature of the opposite sex? Legs

66. Are you afraid of the dark? no

67. Have you ever eaten paste(glue)? no and it's a compulsion I just do not understand. I mean what is up with that?

68. Do you have a webcam? No

Really. The first words out of my mouth this morning were, "WTF?!" Not because my ceiling fan suddenly fell on me or my waterbed had burst again. No this was because of a dream. A really freakin' weird dream. Now most of my dreams are mundane. I usually wake up when something absolutely impossible happens (like hooking up with a hot co-worker or something). But this dream I had last night... whoa...

It starts off with the fact I'm visiting my dad on a Friday which is Father's Day. Because Father's Day is every Friday. He's living in an old, two story farmhouse with a big field on the left side. So far, mundane. Then as my dad and I are talking I notice that it's getting darker outside. I look out he second story window to see very dark storm clouds coming in. Like the clouds in Independence Day. Oh, and the clouds were also about two stories off the ground. It storms for a while and dies down. Then I hear sirens and I look out the window at the field. I see three paramedics riding in an ambulance-golfcart. They careen out of control and slide into the field. My dad and I go out there to see if they are okay, but they totally ignore us. They go around scanning the crowd of people who turned up. The talk amongst themselves and it becomes clear that they are veterinarians/zoo keepers of some sort and we are the animals. After a while they pile into this large mouse head and fly off into the sky where the head joins the body already in the air, then it flies off. So my dad and I go back into the house and we hear a knocking on the door. We open it up to see George Washington and the Continental Army standing outside our door. They march into the house and come to another door (which is on the same side as the front door) and try to go through that door. But it's locked. Washington rolls his eyes and looks at his commander as if to say, "Why is this door locked and why are you not unlocking it?" So the commander demands to know why the door is locked. I unlock it and they open the door to march right back outside in the direction they came from. After all this weirdness I wake up just before my alarm went off.

Now I don't know what they put in that seasoning at Red Robin, but I'm convinced that had something to do with it...

Click HERE to hear a new song that will not be included on the new album...

/ He gets bonus points for throwing in a "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" reference...
// And I got it too... now who's pitiful?

200. My middle name is: Stephen

199: I was born in: Portsmouth, Va

198. I am a: A magician

196. My eye color is: green or brown... hazel I guess. Depends on my mood. If they are full brown, watch out. FULL GREEN... WATCH OUT ;op

195. My shoe size is: Depends on the shoe. Normally 9, Vans 9 1/2, Steve Madden's 8 1/2, Nick (it)'s 8

194. My ring size is: Have no idea. I don't like wearing rings...

192. My height is: 5'11

191. I am allergic to: Work...

190. I live in: Chesapeake

189. The last book I read: The Bible

188. My bed is: warm and jiggly... IT JIGGLES!!

187. One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex is: They frustrate me to no end and I am a glutton for punishment....

186. I am glad I'm my sex b/c: I don't bleed out of any orifices every month. Well except that one time...

179. My favorite Holiday is: Halloween

178? Hello? Is there supposed to be a question here?

177. The last three cd's I bought are: The soundtrack to Mirormask. An my ex had gotten me the soundtrack to Narnia (which I've only listened to once). Can't remember any others. I usually buy my music on iTunes.

176. Last song that made me cry was: Well if it made me cry it was from laughing.

172. My most treasured possession is: This one's tough as I have three. My teddy bear, my Ringling Bros jacket and my Darth Vader mask.

170. What did you do last night: I converted a DVD to an mp4 format in order to make another music video to upload to Youtube.com

167. My skin's reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): Well my arms and face are usually the only parts of my body exposed to the sun so they usually tan. The rest of my body burns.

166-144: Do the Drunken Monkey

I Do (YES)/Do Not (NO) Believe In

143. Easter bunny: No

142. Love at first sight?: Not really

141. Luck?: In my experience there's no such thing as luck...

140. Faith?: Yes

139. God?: Yes

138. Aliens?: Yeah and that's why we need a boarder fence...

137. Heaven?: Yes

136. Hell?: Yes

135. Ghosts?: Yeah, we have one at work

134. Horoscopes?: Well I once saw a Gemini get shot by an arrow (and if you get this you are truly a nerd :op )

133. Soulmates?: Yes


Which is Better?

129. Hugs or Kisses? Real one's or chocolate???? Chocolate. I'm lazy and they are easier to get. Plus I only have to pay one time and they are all mine!

128. Drunk or High?: neither

127. Phone or Online: Online. I hate phones (as evidence that I don't have one right now)

126. Red heads or Black hair?: REDHEADS! All the way!

125. Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes. Blondes are cheap and common. Sorry, it's the truth.

120. Night or Day: Night

119. Oranges or Apples: Orange smoothie

118. Curly or Straight hair: Curly... long and red...


Here's What I Think About

116. Abortion?: Well there are some people out there who may actually make me a proponent of post-birth abortions...

115. Backstabbers?: Suck. But remember that old klingon proverb that revenge is a dish best served cold...

114. Parents?: I wouldn't be here f it weren't for them.

110. School?: Hated it until I did absolutely nothing for one summer. I was so bored that when school came back around I was so glad to be doing something again that I made honor roll and had perfect attendance last couple of years of school.

Last time I (family doesn't count);

103. Kissed someone: March

102. Last time I hugged someone: Sunday

101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while: Sunday before last

100. Finally forgave your enemies? Can't remember. I don't really have enemies... far as I know...

99. You like anyone?: As in like, LIKE like? No.

90. Who's the ditziest person I know: That guy that looks at me in the mirror.

87. One thing I'm pissed about right now is: I'm not. All is well right now.

83. The last movie I saw in the theater was: It was Firewall.

82. The thing I don't understand is: I am by no means a brain surgeon but even I can see the folly in just letting anyone and everyone come through our boarders....

80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever recieved: "Because..." from my parents

79. The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: Sorry... still bitter...

76. This summer I am: going to work. Lots of magic shows...

75. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Left home six years ago...

74. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: Making more money.

73. Tomorrow: I'm going to help the boss move some desks, enjoy a day off from work, go to bible study.

72. Today: was tedious for some odd reason. I really did not want to be at work today.

71. tomorrow: I said, "I'M GOING TO HELP MY BOSS MOVE SOME DESKS, ENJOY A DAY OFF FROM WORK, GO TO BIBKE STUDY!" Geez... hear much?

70. Next Week: Work. That's it just work. That's what I live for and keeps me going.

67. People call me: Depends on what I've done :op

64. The person I have been good friends with the longest: Steve

62. The person/people who knows the most about me is? Steve and Amanda

61. The person that can read me the best is: Steve... no hiding anything from him.

60. The most difficult thing to do is: I don't want to answer this one...

59. I have gotten a speeding ticket: in Emporia, just across the state line.

58. I have the following siblings: One sister

53. The one person who can't hide things from me: Phfsshh! I am so totally oblivious sometimes...

51. Right now I am talking to: no one, I'm filling out a questionnaire on my computer

48. I have/will get a job at/with: Jcp, Party Animal's

47. I have these pets: none, my cat which I had for nineteen years is DEAD! Thank you for bringing up a very painful memory!! :op

46. I hope: That the new way my company will do business will be very lucrative for me so I can do that full time.

45. The worst sound in the world: "Ladies and Gentleman, President Hillary Rodam-Clinton..."

39. Chicken/ Beef: Nothing wrong with that!

35. Florida or Hawaii: Not to sure... been to Florida before and I'm not to keen on a very long plane trip...

33. My favorite piece of clothing is: My Nick (it) shirts (they are loud...)

32. My favorite sport(s) to play is: I don't play sports...

31. Last time I cried: March

28. The school I go to is: Not in school

27. Last person I got pissed at: Probably just some random person who cut me off or something, I can't really remember...

26. My worst drinking experience was: January '05, got my first real hangover at age thirty. Before that I only ever woke up feeling a bit dizzy and hungry. Since then I've only ever had ONE beer. And that was on my birthday almost a year ago.

22. The all-time best movie is: Grease!

21. The all-time Best thing in the world is: pizza!

20. So, about them Canadians eh?: They suffer some serious brain freeze sometimes.

19. Do you like spam?: (Sing to REM's "Stand")

Spam in the place where I live (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
Spam in my luchbox at work (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwhich any way you slice it at all

18. The most annoying person you know is? Wow... I really can't think of anyone...

17. I lose all respect for people who: Do as I say, don't do as I do (I'm talking to you Mexico...)

11. The worst pain I was ever in was: Broken heart.

10. My favorite phrase is: Mother puss bucket

9. My room: let's not go there

8. My favorite celebrity is: "Weird Al" Yankovic. He's just a really cool, down to earth guy. Most celebrities are too full of themselves and think because they can read someone's words better than someone else that this makes them somehow more knowledgeable than the rest of us (I'm talking to you you Film Actors Guild members...)

7. My favorite band/group is?: Delerium

6. My best character trait is: Always trying to see the positive in the negative. My mom had cancer and had a hysterectomy. I told her look on the bright side, she was losing five pounds!

5. My worst character trait is: Unorganized

4. What turns me on: It's been so long that just holding my hand would probably about do it...

3. Who broke your heart: Most of us know the answer to this one...

2. I filled out 200 (?) questions because: I have the day off, I'm up late, haven't done one of these in a while and I'm egocentric enough to actually think people will find what I have written here interesting.

1. What do you regret most: Being too honest on my Clown College application. They asked if I had had any previous experience in clowning. I said yes. That answer kept me out because they always have a hard time training people who have already done it.

What words can describe how I feel? Burnt, exhausted, thrilled? Had a blast at the Strawberry Festival this year. Yesterday we were in the parade. We got there about nine, the parade didn't start until eleven. We were so far back though our section didn't even move out of the staging area until about twelve. After the parade it was time for me to do some street magic. Had a few new tricks to show off this year. Then Bobby and I did a magic show then it was time to go home.

Funny thing was, I was so tired I didn't remember talking to Peek when he came home or Steve online. All I remember was taking off the makeup and crashing on my bed.

Today it was more of the same. This time we started with the magic show and also had a better crowd. Yesterday's crowd had been there all day and they were tired and about as responsive as Terri Shivo. After the plug was pulled. Today's crowd was cool and I got it on video. Heather is digitizing it right now, so hopefully I'll have the video posted soon :o)

Now it's time to hang out with Steve, Amanda, Brad and Misty at The Grate Steak...

Clicky Here:

That Boy Could Dance

1) How old do you wish you were?
Eight was a good year... "Jedi" came out, Masters of the Universe themed Christmas...

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
at home watching a bio about Robin Hood on the Bio Channel when Steve called me to tell me a plane hit one of the towers. I tuned in just in time to see the second plane hit.

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
push the change button repeatedly...

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
not at the moment

5) what’s your favorite sexual position?
yeah right

6) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
If I get another one it would be o my calf

7) Where's 7?
at lunch, 7 "ate" 9 you know

8) Do you know your neighbors?
no

9) What do you consider a vacation?
getting to get out of state for a weekend

10) Do you follow your horoscope?
Nope

11) Would you move for the person you loved?
Well I'd need someone to love now wouldn't I?

12) Are you touchy feely?
no, keep your hands away from me

13) Do you believe that opposites attract?
If Paula Abdul could make out with an animated cat, then yes

14) Dream job?
Circus clown

15) Favorite channel(s)?
History, A&E, TBN, TLC

16) Whens the last time you had sex?
November 2001

17) Favorite place to go on weekends?
church

18) Showers or Baths?
showers

19) Do you paint your nails?
no


20) What color eyes do you like on your significant other?
green

21) What is your favorite body part?
I don't know

22) Do you trust people easily?
yeah but I probably shouldn't

23) What are your phobias?
Heights, water and sharp, pointed objects

24) Do you want kids?
no

25) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
no

26) Where would you rather be right now?
anywhere but here

27) What do you want to name your kids?
Moot point

28) What makes you feel guilty?
Geez, I grew up catholic and I'm a born again christian... pick something

29) Heavy or light sleep?
Depends. Sometimes I can wake up at the slightest noise or I can remain asleep the whole time Peekaboo is knocking on my door because he overflowed the toilet again and doesn't know how to fix it (it's called a plunger....)

30)Are you paranoid?
Depends. Why do you ask? Who said I was paranoid?

31) Are you impatient?
depends on what I'm waiting for

32) Who can you relate to?
no idea

33) How do you feel about interracial couples?
Whatever floats your boat.

34) Have you been burned by love?
Yes... and way too often...

35) Whats your life motto?
"Geez, not this crap again..."

36) Whats your main ringtone on your phone?
Cirque du Soliel's "Alegria".

37) What were you doing at midnite last night?
in bed listening to a radio show

38) What did the last text message on your cellphone say?
Don't remember...

39) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine

40) What color shirt are you wearing?
pick a color... it's probably on this shirt

41) Most recent movie that you watched?
Is that "recent" as in "the newest film I've seen" or just the last movie I saw in general?

42) Name 3 things that you have on you at all times?
Glasses, a shirt, and pants (but sometimes I go "commando" just because I can...)

43) Whats the color of your bedsheets?
black

44) How much cash do you have on you right now?
a dollar bill

45) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
the breast, the bigger the better

46) What's your favorite town/city?
I've always wanted to go back to San Diego

47) WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME? It's silver, okay? Geez...

48) When was the last time you saw your mom?
Sunday

49) When was the last time you saw your dad?
Also on Sunday

50) When was the last time you talked to them?
Sunday when I last saw them...

51) Who got you to join myspace?
Don't remember

52) What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
I think I just had a hot dog... I don't remember. Haven't really eaten well lately...

53) How long have you been at your current job?
The "real" job? six months. The REAL job? six years this month.

54) Is Tom on you friends list?
yeah

55) Look to your left. What's there?
My afgan that my grandma made me when I was thirteen.

56) Who is the last person you spent $50+ on?
Kimberly

57) What was the last piece of clothing you borrowed from somebody?
couldn't tell ya

58) What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
Fark.com

59) Do you have an air freshener in your car?
I have two Happy Bunny ones that I got when I got my car two years ago...

60) Do you have plants in your room?
Yeah, but not because I put them there...

61) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my heart

62) What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
I think it was in Denver back in my circus days...

63) Do you own a picture phone?
nope

64) What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
Coffee. Plain old american coffee... from Columbia...

65) Recent time you were really upset?
The past two weeks...

66) If you could choose, how would you pass on?
Raptured

67) Any kids?
nope

68) Do you miss anyone?
Yes, very much...

69) Do you like revenge?
no, what's the use? You get your revenge, then what?

70) Know how to swim?
sort of

71) Do you know how to skate?
I can ice skate without falling but I'm no Brian Boitano

72) Know how to snowboard?
no

73) Did you do sports in high school?
no

74) Who will repost this?
I don't know

75) If you could have one wish come true, what would it be?
That I could go back in time and change everything I've done wrong.

THIS WILL FREAK YOU OUT! CHECK IT OUT!
It only takes about 30 seconds. Don't cheat!
From The Amazing Jonathan (www.amazingj.com)






Think of a letter between A and W. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.

































Keep going!


























Think of an animal that begins with that letter. Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.


































Think of a man's name that begins with the last letter in that animal. Say it out loud as you scroll down.






























Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the hand you are not using to scroll down.


































Take the last finger you counted with, shove it up your ass, and get back to work, you stupid game playing bastard!

<td align="center" style="background: #000000; color: #FFFFFF;">Richard Kirsch's Random Movie Quote:

'I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania.'

- Frank, Rocky Horror Picture Show

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


A random movie quote generator and the first thing it gives me is a quote from I character I've played a couple of times...


AND ANOTHER "DUH"...

What You Should Be For Halloween:

<td align="center">You should be Batman



You love dressing up for Halloween because it lets you be creative and show people your retro taste in TV. The best part of Halloween for you is the candy, and you definitely look forward to it every year.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>



Me in my Batman costume...